g4chavi的部落格

一個背對著我的女人身上披掛著是另一張臉；一個十歲孩童的臉。一副不含眼珠的空洞眼框，眼框內是那麼地黑，深不見底。眼尾朝上似乎在微笑，我瞬間騰空拉後遠望著這位背對我長髮披肩的女子，背上所掛著孩童是在微笑，微笑的臉呈現地是位三十歲女子滄桑卻帶著算計的微笑，咧嘴的下的牙齒也俱無，嘴內無牙，列嘴只顯牙齦之下，亦是深黑一片；笑的令人發顫，寒毛豎立，而我就在這驚恐的微笑下驚醒。

每個人都不愛發噩夢，我夜夜噩夢連連，雖猶如家常便飯，還是無法習以為常；尤其每日發噩夢似乎跟定我有十多年了，真不知道發噩夢算不算是一種生活習慣。每場夢境都像是部電影，即使驚醒後，噩夢殘影揮之不去，且歷歷在現在我腦海中；猶如參與一場驚悚紀錄片，內容往往與虐待殘殺的殘暴過程脫不了關係。屍體肢解算是必有的場景，腸肚分離可說是基本必備情節，令人發顫的是將人活生生肢解肉體；惶恐無助的哭喊聲或是倉皇的尖叫聲已完全被驚嚇過度身體虛軟而取代，更令人痛苦的是，無法轉開視線且被迫接受觀看整個切開、劃開、剪開一具具活生生肉體的場景。

這次的夢境比以往屠殺的過程來的比較親生經歷，夢到我在日本一個平房木制旅館看著飄雪的景色，不過時代感已分不清現代還是古代了；在看著漂雪的景色，眼光定佇於一處斷崖旁的雕像。這斷崖似乎是地震後截斷或市建築中未完成的天橋道路階段，不過當地人往來間對雕像與截斷的天橋道路若不是習以為常，就是無視於危險無防範的存在；好似只是斷橋觀光景點或是根本不曾存在的一個據點。

That night I'd a weird dream again. I cutted people's abdomen and grabbed 2 people's heads out of different people's stomach. The heads I grabbed were from people's stomach and those heads were covered with sticky liquid. I felt the sticky liquid with drops on the ground. Those heads were smiling at me with those evil temperament. They had bodies with tiny one as octopus but struggling as asthma. Their face reflected from swaying light appeared to be darker colour and dreadful. Also, the dream remains killing with blood around.

I start having strange dreams again, the dream I've been killed by different methods. I still feel that was a vivid dream and I almost lost my breath when I woke up. This time, I was killed on horse by spear stabbing into my heart and I was in General suit about hudrend years ago. Another dream was I was murdered and burried in a discarded or understructured garden. That place was dark and I saw people rebuilding the floor. I followed a guy who was about 32years old, good built but bold and seemed to be my housemate. Afterwards, I was hitted and burried.

I had a very strange dream that I was in a village as a visitor. That village is an old living style which applied torches for light in the evening. The location seems to be in South East Asia, like in Cambodia. Those people are all non-Chinese look but very Asian face living in straw-built structure. Forest around with the cry of insects. People spoke in different language which I don’t understand. I just know in that dream, women was bullied and humiliated by their tribe leader who is a 50s year old man. He took young lady about teenage as a kind of sacrifice ritual for their god by having sex. He abused this ritual with various excuses to have sex with any young ladies who are from poor family and can’t afford life no mentioni to fight back that leader. I can’t remember the complete dream but several girls were crying and telling me by a certain chronicle memory and images inputting into my head of how they were tortured and those strong sorrow feeling of how cruel it could be was transmitted to me. I could even feel the pain from their bodies and sense that vulnerable, defenseless and fragile sadness from their mind. The final scene before I woke up was a pregnant female in age 17 or 18 who looked dingy in smeared white robe to be sent to cremate her body because she was raped by that tribe leader when she was in pregnancy of week 30s. After the rape or their so-called ritual for god, she was miscarried and I saw her legs open under her robe and had vagina bleeding mixed with other mucus as kind of a running sore festering. She was yelling, shouting, crying out loud and struggling to get rid of four men’s lifting. I could even sense her nervous breakdown and then I woke up with the impression of her open legs with festering in blood and mud.